Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You made out with two different species that night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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