idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
