I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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