Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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