This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
