my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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