ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
