This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
