I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
