DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
