Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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