Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
