I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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