hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
