Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
