Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
