I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
