if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize