I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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