I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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