I met the friendliest cop last night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
