If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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