THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
