I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
