If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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