I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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