I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
