I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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