Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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