dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
