The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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