Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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