She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
