so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am mentally ready for anal.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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