Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He is an equal opportunity slut.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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