Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
