i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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