the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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