HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
