:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
