Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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