she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
