definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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