Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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