I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
