You smell like a Billy Joel song
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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