break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
