I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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