Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
