Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i think i just lost a toe
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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