I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Boobs speak an international language.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize