I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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