i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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