Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
