I hate all girls vehemently.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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