69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
