I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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