you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
