I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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