I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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