: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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