we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.