it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
