Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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