Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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