I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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